Seize Every Chance to Love
My ex—a man with billions in assets, retired for two decades—sent me a message that brought me to tears.
He wrote:
“Today, soaking in the bath, I thought of your near-death experience. Back then, I judged you as insane. But you were teaching me how to love. Now I see that I was the crazy one. I finally understand that everything that happens—especially the things we hate—is here to teach us to become love. I hereby declare that from this moment on, I will seize every chance to love.”
That near-death moment was decades ago. I was reckless with my body, unaware that my heart was failing and depression had taken hold. One day, I blacked out in his bathtub. He found me with a dangerously slow heartbeat and dropping body temperature. Furious and terrified, he resuscitated me while shouting at my confused brain. We hadn’t revisited that memory in years.
Over time, we’ve become something like family. We meet occasionally, chatting easily about our relationships, work, and daily lives. He tinkers with coding, upgrades his entire home to AI voice control, designs high-speed e-bikes, and experiments with 3D imaging—he even printed a bracelet for me, though it was too tacky for my taste. Our lives barely overlap, and our spiritual paths couldn’t be more different. Yet time has forged a comfortable and genuine friendship. I don’t share intimate details of my love life out of respect, and I genuinely cheer him on when he dates. There’s no expectation, judgment, or compromise between us. If we disagree, I walk away; when the air clears, we reconnect—or not—depending on the moment. This is possible when you stop defining yourself through the opposite sex’s eyes. Flattery, pleasing, and testing become unnecessary, just as he no longer worries that I covet his wealth, intellect, or connections.
Lately, he’s been deeply depressed after losing several of his dogs. I’ve made time to check in on him, offering practical grief-healing advice. I’m glad to see him improving, but witnessing such a profound shift in a man in his fifties—a genius who has always struggled to trust others—moved me deeply. Geniuses often face crises beyond ordinary imagination, and their depression can be notoriously hard to treat. In a strange way, my years with him sharpened my own thinking, which helped me attract and retain brilliant clients who stay fiercely loyal. Perhaps that’s a silver lining.
For someone who earned so much wealth so young, who lived stubbornly alone for decades, only opening his heart past midlife—this brought me to reflect on my own clients and students. How many cling to rigid beliefs, cover their eyes, and refuse to move forward? What will it take for them to wake up and truly, sincerely love during this one precious lifetime?
I think of Jerry Maguire and its famous line, “You complete me.” That sentiment has shaped adult love stories for a generation. More recently, A Star Is Born reignited talks of twin flames—women clinging to soulmate fantasies while gripping material security, men silently chasing every experience yet torn about settling down. But maybe real relationships are more like Tom Cruise’s character passionately telling his last client, “Help me, help you.” If each of us could experience our own completeness, perhaps love, marriage, and even socializing wouldn’t feel so burdensome.
That’s where somatic energy work comes in.
Debates about love, desire, and whether they belong together can go on forever. Even if two people agree today, they may diverge tomorrow. Change is nature’s evolution—cells die and regenerate every moment. Why insist on stagnant thoughts and emotions? The body knows. The body always knows.
Some assume that because I’ve lived wildly, freedom comes easily to me. But we’re all ordinary. We carry the conditioning of our families, cultures, and past experiences. The only difference is whether we choose to risk, explore, and meet our true selves—the self no one else can box in. That journey brings both soaring joy and excruciating pain. But through each layer of outdated belief and trembling fear, we unlock more vitality, energy, confidence, and ultimately, love.
Many spiritual teachers borrow esoteric concepts and project polished images, yet deep down they can’t accept their own emotions. They rely on self-hypnosis or manipulation, often misreading their clients. Some high-profile couples who teach together actually live with low intimacy, sustaining themselves through the so-called ethically non-monogamous relationship. Others cycle through marriages and divorces, adrift in fantasies of abundance or conscious evolution. I am not saying that any of this is right or wrong— they are just deeply human. I simply chose a not so definite path: to offer lived experience, continuous learning, and authentic practice to support my own evolution, and to inspire everyone I meet.
That calling gave birth to my work in somatic practices, biodynamic breathwork, and customized meditation for real lives. Through this dedication, real transformation becomes inevitable. Life is here, and now.
Seize every chance to love.
