What’s the Difference?
This reflection came during one of my extended quarantines, when I received the news that my favourite dog, Pudding, had died. But first, here are the keypoints:
Soulmate Relationship Traits:
- Deep, spiritual connection with a sense of having known each other before
- Frequent déjà vu or flashbacks of shared experiences
- Easy understanding, similar thinking patterns
- Shared vulnerabilities or childhood challenges
- Intense highs and lows
- Feeling each other’s presence even when apart, a sense of conquering difficulties together
- Intuitive knowing of each other’s thoughts and feelings
- Major life shifts around the time you meet
- The relationship may not last, but the love remains
Life Partner Relationship Traits:
- Physical attraction and shared values
- Genuine enjoyment in discovering each other
- A friendship-like ease without extreme ups and downs
- Built on logical or intellectual choice
- Aligned values, beliefs, or life philosophies
- Emotional and financial stability together
- Focused on building new memories and presence
- A sense of wanting to “formalize” the bond through commitment
Every being needs different types of relationships at different life stages. There’s no right or wrong—only what your heart calls for. Let your heart guide you to those who will challenge or support you exactly when you need them
In the days before I left for the long trip, I was torn about whether to visit Pudding. He’d been diagnosed with cancer years earlier, and though he’d been stable, the tumor had grown back and was once again dangerously close to his heart. I had a nagging feeling that if I didn’t go to see him, it might be the last time.
I didn’t manage to go. I convinced myself he’d be fine—he had a devoted owner with all the money and resources to provide even acupuncture and Chinese medicine for his dogs. But on my second night away, I received the call. Pudding had passed suddenly. I cried for hours every day, despite the complications it caused with my daily virus tests. I just couldn’t shake the weight of not saying goodbye. In my grief, I began to understand something about soulmates, life partners, and the different ways love shows up in life—and leaves.
Soulmates Are Beings Who Expand Our Consciousness
Years ago, a friend who works in animal communication told me about an Egyptian belief: cats are guardians of priests and priestesses, warding off negative energy while remaining independent of their owners’ emotional states. Dogs, however, absorb their owners’ emotions and energies. I’ve observed this myself—many dogs seem to embody the suppressed parts of their owners, and I’ve seen animals fall ill when their humans are unwell.
Months before Pudding passed, I did an energy session with him. When I touched his tumor, I felt a deep grief—a sadness that didn’t belong to him, who was always joyful and carefree. I sensed it came from his owner, who had lost several dogs in recent years. I suggested that his owner spend time each day touching the tumor, imagining he was holding his own grief, feeling it, and letting it dissolve through that connection. Whether that helped or not, Pudding remained stable for a long time.
When Pudding died, I was consumed with guilt. Had I overdone with the remote frequencies I sent to him? Had I somehow accelerated his departure? Then I remembered what I read in the animal column: animals often worry about their owners after they’re gone. Pudding’s family had experienced this before—an older, half-paralyzed dog held on far longer than expected, waiting until she felt it was time. Her healthy son passed suddenly a week later, as if following her. Perhaps Pudding, too, had decided he was ready, trusting that his owner would finally be okay.
Through tears, I told Pudding’s owner: this little angel knew you could let go and live fully now. He didn’t suffer long, and that’s worth celebrating.
I said to him, a soulmate isn’t necessarily a person. A soulmate is any being that challenges us and expands our consciousness. Pudding chose to be his soulmate, not his life partner. His passing was the final lesson—the challenge of letting go, of experiencing love beyond physical companionship. I taught his owner to touch his own body as if touching Pudding, to chase after cats on the street as Pudding would, to internalize Pudding’s joy and simplicity. I told him, this is Pudding’s gift to him.
I was terrified of dogs growing up, after a few childhood attacks. Yet life arranged for me to be with a man who had six dogs for several years. It was Pudding who healed my fear. He waited outside the bathroom door when I locked myself in during arguments. He sat beside me when I was sad. He always recognized me, no matter how long I’d been away or how different I smelled. He would open my door during a deep energy session and lie quietly by my bed. Though I could never be his primary guardian, I received his unconditional love for over a decade. Pudding showed me that every dog is a unique being, and that past trauma can dissolve. That is the expansion he brought to my consciousness.
Life Partners Stay
A soulmate is a soul aligned with yours. They appear in your life to challenge you, to stir up what’s split within you, so your soul can rise to higher awareness. Once the lesson is learned, physical separation often follows.
A life partner, on the other hand, is a companion—stable, safe, trustworthy. This is someone you can lean on, someone who helps you navigate life. You share love and respect, and your needs and desires generally align. Many people desperately seek their soulmate, eager to fix themselves to find “the one.” But in truth, we may encounter several soulmates in a lifetime—each with the same purpose: to challenge our comfort zone and awaken the soul to evolve.
Soulmates often appear when we’re ready for a breakthrough. The connection can be intense, even karmic, and once the learning is complete, they tend to leave our lives. They may not be romantic partners—they can be friends, family, or even animals. If you want a life partner who stays, you first need to align with your own soul—explore who you are, honor your value, follow your heart. When you vibrate in harmony, you become ready to meet a life partner who can share experiences with you.
A life partner is more like a friend. The connection may not be as deep as with a soulmate, but it’s built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect. Life partners lean on each other and consider each other’s needs. They bring lessons too, but more as support and guidance on your journey. Meeting a life partner is less of a spiritual unveiling and more of an emotional and practical alignment.
Don’t Turn the Search into an Obsession
I’ve had many soulmates in my life—teachers, guides, even lovers. The connections were always profound, often painful, yet always expanding. One teacher would ask, in the midst of a major breakdown, “What have you learned from this experience?” Almost fainting from dissociation, I was still able to gain more awareness. A lover, with whom I could barely converse due to language barriers, shared such a deep silence with me that I felt complete in blissful union. We parted after two weeks, but our hearts never truly separated. He would call me spontaneously from sacred places after a retreat, saying that peace and love always made him think of me.
I haven’t yet met a life partner. But my experience tells me not to cling to any fixed criteria. That kind of pursuit would only drain energy and contradict love itself. Those who love are loved in return. I’ve been enriched by many soulmates who made me feel more whole and joyful. May you, too, meet the souls meant to guide you on your path—and may you recognize them when they arrive.
